“Honey, can you please pick up my anti-malarial prescription?”
“No, simply pick it up from the doctors. I’ll order the pills online. It’s much cheaper that way... Are you listening?”
My alarm bells should have started ringing as soon as AH said this.
After all, Jesus said that our “yes” should simply be a “yes” and our “no” a “no”. I have always taken this to mean that verbal embellishments can be a sign of a lack of sincerity and wholeheartedness.
Saying yes twice doesn’t sound like much of an embellishment, but, ladies believe me: It spells trouble. When your husband says, “Yes, yes”, he actually means “no”. It could also mean: “Don’t tell me what to do. I know exactly what’s going on.” Or he may actually not be thinking anything at that point. But regardless of the specifics, the result will be the same: You won’t get what you have asked for.
AH picked up the prescription and went straight to Boots and so wasted over £20 (and that from a man who is declaring that he will not do any water sports at Victoria Falls because he considers the prices a rip off...)
Upon reflecting on his actions, AH came to a conclusion: “I’ve got a problem. I’m not listening.”
Now I would have never noticed that if he had not said it. I also have a problem – no, make this several:
How am I now supposed to delegate anything else to AH, when he has shown once again that he is not a planner and plotter like me. (Careful planning gives me a sense of control or at least the illusion of control...)
I also remember vaguely that I said something about wanting to have a gentle and quiet spirit in my wedding vows. To my idealistic mind this seemed to be the recipe for marital bliss and harmony. Well, let’s just say I am currently having considerable trouble following the recipe.
And, ladies, nothing shuts a man down faster than shouting and nagging – but how then do I encourage someone who hates planning and details to pay attention and take an active part in the holiday preparations? Ideas welcome.